Review: Kambakkht Ishq is one for the trash bin

The more the level of gimmickry in a film, fewer are the chances of it being watchable. When filmmakers hype the product over Hollywood stars, a bikini scene, or the location; you can be sure the film’s got nothing. And Kambakkht Ishq confirms this fear.
Yes, it’s been shot in Hollywood, there’s a scene in Kodak Theater (the Oscars venue), and Sylvester Stallone, Denise Richards and Brandon Routh make appearances. But to hell with such gimmicks when sitting through the film is such torture.
Akshay Kumar who needs a hit after several debacles, reprises his role as the chauvinist playboy after Garam Masala and Heyy Babyy. The cliché of a leading man who beds numerous women, mostly foreigners (the audience, they reckon, will feel no guilt as westerners are loose anyway, right?), falling for the only woman who isn’t affected by his charms; and the two finally ending together is ballistic.

For, if you were to sit and think for a minute; why would, and how can, a person of sound mind, which Kareena’s character apparently is, voluntarily want to be with a foul-mouthed Casanova? See, this film thrives on stereotypes: so to offset our stuntman lothario Viraj (Akshay), we have a man-hating frigid Simrita (their words, not mine!) played by Kareena. Once during an argument, Viraj threatens to shut her up and kisses her forcibly. One wanted to walk out just that moment, but for the job that requires a full viewing. Simrita, who is ambitious and alive, modelling to pay for medical school, whimpers something and huffs off.
Throughout the film then, there are songs where her personal space is intruded in the name of ched-chaad (eve-teasing). He even asks her threateningly, “You want to know how low a stuntman can get?” She calls him a dog; he calls her a bitch. He tells her that since she’s not falling for him, she must be a lesbian. You truly empathize with Simrita, because for a support-system, she has a sister and an aunt who keep hoping she’ll get married, even if it is to this creepy womanizer.

Meanwhile, Viraj and Simrita get embroiled in a situation involving her watch that goes missing. Under the influence of an accidental spiked drink, she sheds her clothes to sing a seductive song (Bebo main bebo, dil mera le lo) for Viraj. When he makes out with her, but does not have intercourse, he is portrayed as a paragon of virtue. Never mind, that she woke up in the morning with only a bed-sheet around her.
He realizes he’s in love. When Simrita refuses his proposal for marriage; Viraj, in keeping with his character’s loutish behavior, asks one of his casual girlfriends to marry him (Denise Richards, wow). This act ignites feelings of affection in Simrita (yes, that’s how peculiar the film is) who then apologizes to Viraj for “her habit of taking her own decisions”.
Writer-director Sabir Khan’s execution is devoid of subtlety. The first scene establishing Hollywood is so obvious – bikini-clad women, the Hollywood Walk of Fame, stock shots of Angelina Jolie from the Oscars. There are portions where the film turns crude – the scene where Viraj’s Man Friday (Vindu Dara Singh, unbearable) fantasizes about women in their underwear, or the shot where a speeding car lifts a woman’s skirt to reveal her innerwear. For more such “comedy”, you have Javed Jaffrey and Boman Irani, both utterly wasted.

Akshay brings nothing new to a role that he has enacted a hundred times before. Still, his performance is earnest. Kareena Kapoor is the only sparkler in the entire film – she looks like a trillion bucks and gives a spirited performance.
Kareena Kapoor and Akshay Kumar form a pair that has given several hits before. If Kambakkht Ishq does well, the producer can well thank the cast and the recent strike that has left the audience desperate for a star-studded film. You remember the tagline this film so proudly displays - `that women are good for only two things’? Well, this film is good for only one – the trash bin.